Pull Yourself Together

By: Peter Stone

“Honey, you’ve spent two days in bed. Can you pull yourself together, please?”

That’s Aaron, my husband. Shows how much he understands. ‘Pull myself together’ indeed! Can’t he understand what I’m going through? If only I’d kept my wits about me, if only I’d been on the ball…

“Mum! Mum! It’s dinnertime soon. Please don’t let dad cook again, he’s hopeless. Mum? Oh, what’s the use!”

My seventeen year old – only thinking of herself, as usual. Can’t they see that I’m hurting? How can I ever look myself in the mirror again? How can I ever meet little Danny’s eyes again?

“Look, hon, Liz, um, I know you didn’t do it on purpose. Heck, we all know how easy it is to lose track of time. Danny’s going to be fine, so just put this behind you, okay?”

Husband again. Does he honestly think that a few words will deal with my utter incompetence? I got so distracted at the craft market and dreaming of a runaway success selling my cards on ebay that I was half an hour late picking six year old Danny up from school! My mind is haunted by images of the little fellow, standing there, all by himself in front of the school, waiting for mummy to pick him up. And of those grade six boys crowding in on him, hitting him...

“Oh Liz, you poor thing. Aaron told me what happened, and really, we understand what you’re going through. We all make mistakes--look at all the ones I made with you when you were a kid! Danny’s getting over it - it’s just a few bruises. He’ll be right as rain in no time. Please, get out of bed.”

Oh great – what’s my mother doing here? Does the whole world know? ‘Just a few bruises’ she says. School bullies beat up my boy because I was late picking him up. If I’d been paying more attention, he’d be fine now! Yes, I know the bruises will heal – but what about his damaged spirit. What about the fact that he’ll never trust me again!

“Honey--please, snap out of it. Withdrawing like this is hurting us all more than what happened to Danny when you forgot to pick him up on time. He needs you more than ever right now, so please, just snap out of it!”

They’re better off without me, honestly. What if I do it again? What if Danny gets hurt badly next time I forget to pick him up. Better my husband picks him up.

Liz.

Oh no, it’s Him.

Liz.

I really can’t face Him right now.

Liz.

Oh, okay. Yes Lord, I’m listening.

You need to let go.

I can’t Lord.

You made a mistake and repented. I forgave your mistake, cast it into the deepest sea, and will remember it no more. So why do you hold onto it like a woman cast adrift at sea clinging to a life preserver?

If I let go, Lord, I’m going to sink!

No, precious daughter, if you let go, the mistake is going to sink.

Okay, Lord, I’m willing to let it go. Here goes – oh no, the fears, the doubts, the guilt, I’m sinking!

Look at Me, Liz, not at the waters, and let go. I am here. Cling to Me.

I can’t believe it – the weight is gone! The guilt, the fears – all gone! Thank you Lord, for saving me from myself. So, what do I do now?

Take My hand and come with Me. I find myself climbing out of the bed and walking into the lounge room. My husband, daughter, and little boy look up in stunned amazement. See, precious daughter? I have given you much to do. Fix your eyes on Me, and tend to the work I have given you – your family.

One last thing, Lord?

Yes, Liz, I will help you to pick up Danny on time in the future. But fear not, when you make mistakes, I will always be with you, I will never leave nor forsake you.

Little Danny is first to reach me. My tears flow as I see the fading bruises and haunted look still present in his eyes, but he throws his arms around me with reckless abandon. “Mummy! I’ve missed you!” Husband and daughter reach me and it becomes a ‘group hug’.

“Are you okay now, Liz?” asks my husband.

‘I’m okay now,” I answer, comforted by the unmistakable sensation of Someone holding my right hand.

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Micah 7:19 You will hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea.

Jeremiah 31:34 "For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more."

Joshua 1:5 I will never leave you nor forsake you.

(NIV)

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